Whispers of Wind
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: Memories hit JJ when she cleans out her desk for maternity leave.
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you for all the positive comments and reviews that you have given to my stories. I want to stop a moment though and be grateful for the ones who created the characters and the ones who brought them to life. It is through their gifts that I am able to write and share my stories.**

 ***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds just enjoying using the characters.**

She walked into a candle lit room. She couldn't tell if she was dreaming again or if this time it was real. Deciding not to give so much effort to thought she just closed her eyes and allowed her senses to take over as warm arms slid around her waist and soft breast pressed into her shoulder blades causing her to melt into the gentle softness she was being pulled back into.

"Jennifer..."

"Mmm..." was the only sound her throat would allow as warm lips made their way to the nap of her neck. "How could simple butterfly kisses cause knees to buckle?" She thought briefly.

"Jennifer..."

"Mmm..."

"What are you thinking girlfriend?" JJ opened her eyes to a laughing Garcia.

"Damn... a dream." She thought. "I was trying to relax my neck a moment." She said trying to play it off.

"Well...by the smile on your face your neck wasn't the only thing you were relaxing."

"Shut up Pen. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Oh honey you would have went there with me if you had heard your moaning." JJ looked around making sure no one else was near that might have heard her as well. "What are you doing?"

"I was in the process of cleaning out my desk for maternity leave."

Pen looked into the box that contained pictures of Will and Henry, several drawings by the six year old from over the years, and various other nick knacks that she had collected here and there. "Nothing in here would make you smile like that. The only one I ever saw you smile that way for was..."

"Pen...leave it alone." JJ said practically jumping at her best friend.

"Emily..." she finished and saw the closed folder on the desk. "You had that buried really far back in your desk just like you have her filed way back in your heart."

"I can't Pen..."

"What you can't admit you miss her or that you are in love with her?"

JJ just looked up at her friend but couldn't speak louder than a whisper, "I did what I had too."

"Well maybe one day you both will see the writing on the wall at the same time and quit hurting." She said as she patted JJ on the arm, "But in the mean time I'm always here when you need a shoulder to cry on."

"Thanks." She said half smiling as her friend left her to finish her task.

She opened the file and saw the picture of her and Emily arm in arm laughing. It had been taken in a restaurant in Paris just before Emily took on her new identity over there. She remembered having a panic attack of never seeing her again after already being separated for months from her. It seemed like forever was going to be the true ending of their relationship.

She remembered looking up at Emily over diner with tears in her eyes telling her. "I missed you so much over the past few months." and how Emily clasped her hand around hers. She remembered telling her, "I can't lose you Em." Sighing deeply she could never forget Emily's reply, "You will never lose me Jennifer. I will always be that whisper of the wind you hear calling your name."

Closing her eyes...she found herself walking into a candle lit room. She couldn't tell if she was dreaming again or if this time it was real. Deciding not to give so much effort to thought she just closed her eyes and allowed her senses to take over as warm arms slid around her waist and soft breast pressed into her shoulder blades causing her to melt into the gentle softness she was being pulled back into.

"Jennifer..."

Shaking her head of the memories she wiped the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek away. She placed the folder in the box and picked up her phone. When the deep voice answered "Hello" all she could say was "whispers of wind."

There was a pause then a soft longing of an answer, "Jennifer."

 **Thank you for reading. This was a pop up story that just had to be written. The series next section is two thirds finished and will be up hopefully by this Sunday.**


	2. Chapter 2

***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds just enjoying using the characters.**

Emily heard the subtle click of the phone call being disconnected as a tsunami of emotions hit her all at once. With the sound of three words she was instantly transported to the only complete moment of happiness she had ever felt.

 _She had lit all the candles in the room and waited the return of the one who stole her breath from her lungs. It only took moments for the fragrance to hit her nose. She knew love had come into the room. She slipped in behind her sliding her arms around a warm waist. Pulling the woman into her, she felt the softness pressing into her breast. Needing to make sure of reality the name slipped from her lips._

 _"Jennifer..."_

 _"Mmm..."_

 _The sound of a deep welcome caused her lips to desire the source of its origin. Starting at the nap of her neck she planned to map out every inch but she had to hear the sound again. For too many nights of dreams had ended with open eyes and empty arms._

 _"Jennifer..."_

 _"Mmm..."_

Sergio Jr. jumped on her legs from the dresser startling her from the memory. She laid her phone back on the bedside table and closed her eyes with a sigh of loss yet laced with loves contentment.

Three words that would have her smiling and crying for weeks again rolled around in her head. But she couldn't deny she longed to hear those very words many many times. The only hard part that she hated was the sound of silence after her heart gave the name those words invoked. " _Whispers of wind."_ It was _a_ spell of exile and the words hung from the ceiling as she starred up. She felt like a gypsy looking through her crystal ball. Seeing the sea of possibility only to have the storm of reality rage upon it's waters.

With sleep lost for the night she slipped from the bed and went to her desk. She opened the bottom drawer and fumbled to the very back for the file that housed the treasured memories that were only allowed to escape on rare moments. She opened the file and turned on the desk lamp so she could see the contents better. In the file she saw the picture of her and JJ arm in arm laughing. It had been taken in a restaurant in Paris just before she had to take on her new identity. She remembered JJ's panic attack of never seeing her again. It seemed like forever was going to be permanent.

She remembered looking at JJ who over diner with tears filling her eyes said, "I missed you so much over the past few months." she remembered clasping the woman's hand in hers. Then the most beautiful words came from JJ's lips, "I can't lose you Em." Sighing deeply Emily's remembered her reply, "You will never lose me Jennifer. I will always be that whisper of the wind you hear calling your name."

 _She had lit all the candles in the room and waited the return of the one who stole her breath from her lungs. It only took moments for the fragrance to hit her nose. She knew love had come into the room. She slipped in behind her sliding her arms around a warm waist. Pulling the woman into her, she felt the softness pressing into her breast. Needing to make sure of reality the name slipped from her lips._

 _"Jennifer..."_

 _"Mmm..."_

 _The sound of a deep welcome caused her lips to desire the source of its origin. Starting at the nap of her neck she planned to map out every inch but she had to hear the sound again. For too many nights of dreams had ended with open eyes and empty arms._

 _"Jennifer..."_

 _"Mmm..."_

She heard a loud thud. Once again she was startled out of her reflections by the black kitten that had jumped on the desk and knocked a file and a stapler to the ground.

"No... Serg" She said as she placed the kitten on the floor and began picking up the file's contents. The last piece was a letter she had received from Pen shortly after she moved to London. She pulled the pages out and started reading.

 _My Dearest Brown Eyed Princess,_

 _One day you both will wake up and see the writing on the wall and know you belong together but until then this poem reminds me of the two of you. I haven't given it to JJ because she is not in a place to receive it yet. I still catch her looking over at your desk and having to excuse herself to go and cry in the bathroom. She thinks no one knows but I do. But one day I will give her a copy just as I have sent you._

 _All my love...Pen_


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so excited. This worked.**

 ***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds just enjoying using the characters.**

JJ wiped the tears from her eyes. She had sat there after her phone call trying to still her emotions. She bent down to pick up the box and noticed the poem Pen had given to her on her first wedding anniversary. Pen had said she wasn't ready till that moment. She picked up the paper with a trembling hand.

 **Sad**

 **The happiest day of my life**

 **and the one who brings me joy**

 **is absent.**

 **Is my choice going to haunt**

 **the future**

 **or just torture the present?**

 **What hollowness fills this wedding day...**

 **I stand beside the people's choice for happiness,**

 **when my heart floods with joy and sadness,**

 **as I see my heart's desire coming**

 **and standing with tears**

 **of heaviness.**

 **What kind of love is it to stand**

 **and watch dreams fade?**

 **To hear me promise things to another**

 **that under the night's cover**

 **to you I had already made.**

 **What a sad coward am I...**

 **For now I know**

 **without your love in my**

 **life I will die...**

 **...**

 **I can't believe at your wedding**

 **I stand,**

 **when you're holding someone**

 **else's hand.**

 **I gave love my all and took a chance**

 **How cruel fate is,**

 **giving someone else my dance.**

 **I want to love and hate**

 **you both together.**

 **For I hear promises said**

 **that were whispered to me.**

 **I just wished I had known**

 **life is what you couldn't weather.**

 **I wouldn't have carved**

 **our initials in**

 **the tree.**

 **Now the tears flow**

 **and you stand by my side,**

 **I have to accept this fate...**

 **For without your love in my life**

 **I know I will die.***

They both wiped tears from their eyes and placed the poem back into the folder. Whispering to the air "Someday Pen we will wake up and see the writing on the wall. But until then at least we still have the whispers of the wind."

 **Thank you for reading. I know many wanted a better ending. But this was just supposed to be for lack of a better word a haunting of choices for JJ but a lot of comments wanted more so I took it a step further. At least it ended on a glimmer of hope.**

 ***The poem "Sad" is from the book "Even Love Needs Sunlight" by Ramona Cummings**


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